Diabolic Demigoddess

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Sour

I am eating this absolutely yummy form of junk/healthy food in a cup ever invented..Masala Corn. Flavors involved are buttery, salty,spicy and yes of course my favorite sour.
Have you ever wondered how the right bit of sour in any recipe can make it simply exquisite. And that makes me ponder, if the same thing holds true for life itself. I have recently started using small slices of things i very often wonder about, and then go ahead and associate it with my own life. So this is a spawn of thoughts linked to that.
Sometimes too much of sour in my own life has proved fatal. In the beginning you tend to just revel in the feeling, and then before you know it you have got addicted to it. I am living in this feeling right now, and i must tell you it has become the weirdest kind of obsession. And when the crazy is for a person, then there are simply no limits to how far it can make you go.
Zach Braff still continues to inspire me. Its become a tradition now to go to his journal, and feel all inspired and smiley ever more. Oh! he also introduced me to awesome music, "I'm fine" by Colin Hay and a more chic sound of Schuyler Fisk.
I have also come to become addicted to television series. I worked my time through Scrubs and now its How i met you Mother. Sometimes i wonder what my life would have been, if it were a similar TV series. Gang of finger five, in a coffee shop/lounge/hospital (eh!), talking about things so trivial, but that meaningful when shared with the same gang of five each passing day. I wish i had a gang of five, a coffee shop, trifle happenings to discuss, small errands to run, little thoughts to wonder over. :)

Monday, October 06, 2008

Inspired by Zach Braff

I just got to be this new absolute crazy sucker for Scrubs and JD. Was reading through his online journal, and i realized how easy it is to just keep talking about things that swarm up in your mind. Sometimes I myself am so full of thoughts, that i realize if i don't get them out real soon, they would just spill off the brim of my head.
I have started working on shifts right now. Needless to say, it means odd hours of sleep and wake up alarms. I got to see the sun rise after such a long time. It just filled my heart with gratitude, when I saw dawn break. Actually the same thing happens to me when I see it go down, and i feel all night i am so gona miss it shining down over me. Aah! who am i kidding , i am just another lovefool, who feels the world is a lovely place to be.
The belief is come to shake off my neck off late. I feel like buying a cat/dog/pet/fish/anything for myself. To speak to it, name it and not be worried about being judged. I think i need a haircut too, and then go shopping for a travel bag. And then go out travelling, alone. But i really doubt it if i would survive a day alone with myself. My credit crisis is finally being managed this time. Thanks to my pride! :)
There are gazillion resolutions i need to live for coming next year. I might get engaged. I want to turn vegeterian. I want to see Goa.
For right now i need a good nights sleep. Peace out!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lose a day

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Vienna-Courtesy Billy Joel

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Loss

To be at loss. ..Sometimes it leaves you with an extreme feeling of helplessness. You just let things go unrepaired right in front of you. Watch them crumble right there, and all you get to do is watch in vain. Something could have been done maybe; some words might have bridged the gap. But you just let it remain the way they are. And soon you are at loss; all the unspoken emotions somehow fill the huge void that builds in between.

Today I feel like Seth (City of angels fame), choosing between the one you love and something so perfect in harmony. I chose the former today, and learn to live with the loss hence incurred. I bleed and know the taste of helplessness again. Nauseating! Leading stakeholders astray…a visceral truth I gulp down with my eyes closed.

I hope I come out with no regrets whatsoever.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Wait...

They say patience is a virtue. So i wait...
To a morning when i wake up with a smile on my face
To a morning wish that makes me want to get up
To a bath that rejuvenates my senses
To a breakfast that feeds my hunger
To a news on CNN that brightens someones day
To a drive to office that clears up the traffic
To a walk to my desk with the carpet touching my heels
To a glance through my outlook when it says no work
To a banter at the coffee machine that is more than a smile
To a chain of emails that i could call conversation
To that one phone call that can make my heart swoon
To a lunch at the canteen that smells delicious
To a siesta at my desk that wakes me up alive
To a glance through my gmail that says new message
To a phone call from a friend away that makes me want to talk
To walk out to the lift wanting me to come back
To the incessant honking that drowns my thoughts
To mom's warm smile that makes me glad
To sitcoms on the television that makes me laugh
To a dinner table where i talk about my day
To a silent prayer that tells me i am being heard
To a goodnight wish that makes me go to sleep
To those sweet dreams of a utopian truth
They say patience is a virtue. And i wait...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Canine

I wish i was a dog

Lie around and sleep like log
Care not to hurry, just a lazy jog

I wish...so wish i was a dog..

Oh! how i would laze all day
Junk to eat, not a penny to pay
Whine and roar, come what may

I wish...so wish i was a dog..

Chase my own tail
With no one to tell me i will fail
No bills no traffic no replying to email

I wish...so wish i was a dog..

No feet to clean, just ugly paws
No face to use suntan on, just dripping jaws
No reason no question no worrying about the cause

I wish...so wish i was a dog..

Inspiration: Phoebe Buffet, of Smelly Cat fame :)
Retrospection: You can just run out of rhyming words, right when you need them so bad.. :P

Labels: Canine Bliss :)

Reincarnation

Oath taking i remember from my previous post too..a promise to cryptically crap about anything and everything around, no matter how trivial they may seem to the rest. But like all weak promises it failed in its matter, and today i am reincarnated..today i am inspired..today i feel verbose..today i write :)
My best pal asked me to start blogging again, coz he seems to believe strongly in its ability to resurrect me from all my sorrows (which bear a typical cancerian sensitivity). He says when i write i pass on the burden to the words and come back alive with a new sense of creation..So this goes out to him, I write for no one to read..I write for myself to be freed :)
May this post spawn a new gamete of cryptic crap...Amen!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Heartless you may say....

Is it that simple, to be heartless and not know how the other person feels? What has been going on in your own best pals' head...maybe it is, i guess somehow, because it is too often that i have personally felt this.
Or maybe, understanding an emotional wreck is a different story altogether. It has been long since i have felt like a carpet..with people walking all over me, wanting me to explain things to them, to understand them...to stay sane with the kind of conversations they have. A compromise, thats what it all has been...a trivial little understading...Sometimes i wonder, is it not high time that i resolve all this, and ask 'the others' to quit treating me like a mushroom...Always keeping me in the dark and feeding me bullshit.I feel dead inside, devoid of emotions towards a second person..its a phase..they call it a phase..DUH!!! So dear phase, it is high time that i phase out of this and start afresh..with a new skin..new mind...chase my dreams down..and not be the same old hag caught in the rat-race.
My belief in people slowly dwindles away, and so does my interest...Have you heard Iris(Goo Goo Dolls), that just verbatim explains the state of my mind currently.
"I dont want the world to see me..coz i dont think, that they'd understand..when everything seems to be broken...i just want you to know who I am"
"You cant fight the tears that aint coming...oh! the moment of truth in your lies....When everything feels like the movies...you bleed just to know, you're alive"
The smiley seems so fake to me, and the addiction is so caught up..that it has to feature instead of every punctuation.Does this need to be the case? Do i need to fabricate my feelings and walk around with a psuedo enthusiasm, which never actually existed?
Maybe yes, if i dont want to risk the charm of just keeping happy from outside..and Maybe no, if i dont want to be no different from a street urchin, who unlike me has to fake poverty..which i think is comparitively easier.The tedious task is to let go of the bonds, and it surely is more painful for the rest than for me to just let go.Would you call this heartless...I surely wont....