Doomsday Version 2.0
2nd December '04, A rainy little evening and one of the most dreaded Genetics Comprehensive Exams has come. As if to add to my misery, I overhear an over concerned student talking about PS II results.."Jesus Christ! i never knew they were out as yet?"
I trot back faster, my heart thumping ten times its normal pace..nervously clinging to a set of books in my hand (thank god: read SKV, for declaring an open book comprehensive, I managed to score for the first time in genetics)
"Most of them have got it in Lucknow, why would they make an exception in my case?";To this a concerned friend of mine answers "haan yaar! You wont get it in Bangalore(sarcastically)...its fine..chill, u will get what u want!"
I ran back to my block, almost feeling weightless now, open the door to my room..run a mad search ransacking the whole place..my eyes fall on a glistening white envelope..."AAh! there art thou!"..
With trembling fingers I open the same, only to find something I had never wanted to come across. I was blank for almost a minute now, a voice in my head in prophet-like fashion announced "Its only for the good.." I trudge back to my friend waiting outside, expressionless...fighting down a visceral feeling in my abdomen. Hand over the envelope and look away..
All i remember after that is a blur of events, which I definitely recognize to be unpleasant. It was like a 20 minute documentary on Afghani refugees, conveying..the meloncholy..the vengeance..the condolences..the sighs...the promises...the sympathy...the arguments..the emotional drama...everything in fast forward mode. My dreams of a six-month vacation at Bangalore crumpled and thrown back on my face. Every detail I had dreamt of now sobbing under the rubble..defeated...dead...decomposed...
Four months have gone by now, and I realize I have no regrets. I have been happy..happier actually. Have made an amazing friend both here and back in Pilani. I was handed over my stipend last month (it did feel real good) and it is now i recognize how things just fit beautifully in place.
I trot back faster, my heart thumping ten times its normal pace..nervously clinging to a set of books in my hand (thank god: read SKV, for declaring an open book comprehensive, I managed to score for the first time in genetics)
"Most of them have got it in Lucknow, why would they make an exception in my case?";To this a concerned friend of mine answers "haan yaar! You wont get it in Bangalore(sarcastically)...its fine..chill, u will get what u want!"
I ran back to my block, almost feeling weightless now, open the door to my room..run a mad search ransacking the whole place..my eyes fall on a glistening white envelope..."AAh! there art thou!"..
With trembling fingers I open the same, only to find something I had never wanted to come across. I was blank for almost a minute now, a voice in my head in prophet-like fashion announced "Its only for the good.." I trudge back to my friend waiting outside, expressionless...fighting down a visceral feeling in my abdomen. Hand over the envelope and look away..
All i remember after that is a blur of events, which I definitely recognize to be unpleasant. It was like a 20 minute documentary on Afghani refugees, conveying..the meloncholy..the vengeance..the condolences..the sighs...the promises...the sympathy...the arguments..the emotional drama...everything in fast forward mode. My dreams of a six-month vacation at Bangalore crumpled and thrown back on my face. Every detail I had dreamt of now sobbing under the rubble..defeated...dead...decomposed...
Four months have gone by now, and I realize I have no regrets. I have been happy..happier actually. Have made an amazing friend both here and back in Pilani. I was handed over my stipend last month (it did feel real good) and it is now i recognize how things just fit beautifully in place.
posted by Swarna Subash @ 1:49 AM
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